[ jing yuan persists. endlessly, he persists. ren should have known that he would, knowing jing yuan as he does - the man had pursued him relentlessly when first they met - but he had thought, perhaps, that all that had befallen them would teach him better. he's a lost cause. a broken man. her death, his sins, his payment beyond, in cold prison.. it has changed him, he is not the man that jing yuan fell in love with, and there is no further need for him to cling on. better that he mourns the man that came before, than try to pursue the shadow of what remains. it will only hurt them both.
yet there is no convincing him. jing yuan tracks him down again and again, pushes his way into ren's apartment and his bed and his heart until he breaks, until he pins his old lover into the mattress and they descend into the only language they can remember, together. making love. and every morning that comes sees ren disappearing from the bed, from the flat entirely, without a word.
slowly but surely, jing yuan is breaking him open, and it is excruciating.
this evening is the same, the old song and dance. jing yuan lets himself in, they fight, they fuck, they bite and scratch and jing yuan persists, brat that he is, worming his way ever closer to ren's cold, scarred heart. they lie together now, breathless and slick with sweat and spend, ren's dark, silvering hair clinging to his skin, their legs tangled. catching his breath, he rubs the heel of his hand into his eyes, but when he tells jing yuan to go, to leave, it only makes his old lover cling more tightly, begging softly, tears in his eyes, in his tight voice.
it pains him to hurt jing yuan more than he ever wanted to. rolling onto his back, ren flings an arm over his eyes to hide them, and to hide from jing yuan's tears. ]
Please, just.. please. I can't.. we can't be what we were. Why won't you let go?
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yet there is no convincing him. jing yuan tracks him down again and again, pushes his way into ren's apartment and his bed and his heart until he breaks, until he pins his old lover into the mattress and they descend into the only language they can remember, together. making love. and every morning that comes sees ren disappearing from the bed, from the flat entirely, without a word.
slowly but surely, jing yuan is breaking him open, and it is excruciating.
this evening is the same, the old song and dance. jing yuan lets himself in, they fight, they fuck, they bite and scratch and jing yuan persists, brat that he is, worming his way ever closer to ren's cold, scarred heart. they lie together now, breathless and slick with sweat and spend, ren's dark, silvering hair clinging to his skin, their legs tangled. catching his breath, he rubs the heel of his hand into his eyes, but when he tells jing yuan to go, to leave, it only makes his old lover cling more tightly, begging softly, tears in his eyes, in his tight voice.
it pains him to hurt jing yuan more than he ever wanted to. rolling onto his back, ren flings an arm over his eyes to hide them, and to hide from jing yuan's tears. ]
Please, just.. please. I can't.. we can't be what we were. Why won't you let go?