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band au;
[ yingxing exhales hard.
his ears still ring with the music, his blood thrumming with excitement. for all the years that highcloud has been together now, he never really tires of this work. he loves what he does, loves his bandmates no matter how often they butt heads, loves everything about their music. it's hard work, exhausting even at the best of times, and there are certainly many downsides to fame and celebrity status, but this.. playing together, making music, performing, he's passionate about it. the riches and fame are secondary to doing what he loves.
they're halfway through their rehearsal now, splitting up to take a break and rehydrate, and it's as he's guzzling down some water from a bottle that yingxing spots dan heng, dan feng's quiet, elusive little brother.
they've met before, but only briefly, only in passing. while dan heng is supportive of his brother and the band, he's a bit of a recluse, and he's never really gone out of his way to interact with any of them beyond dan feng - so what's he doing here right now? yingxing can't resist the urge to pester him, not when he knows he might not get the chance to again for some time now.
so, wiping sweat from his brow, yingxing wanders toward the table where dan heng has set up shop, surrounded by books and papers, lit by the glow of his laptop and tablet. ]
Long time no see.
[ entirely uninvited, yingxing pulls up a seat across from dan heng, straddling it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the steel chair. his hair is wild and his skin is flushed and dewy with sweat, adrenaline still pumping, his grin broad and easy. ]
Surprised you can concentrate with all this noise.
his ears still ring with the music, his blood thrumming with excitement. for all the years that highcloud has been together now, he never really tires of this work. he loves what he does, loves his bandmates no matter how often they butt heads, loves everything about their music. it's hard work, exhausting even at the best of times, and there are certainly many downsides to fame and celebrity status, but this.. playing together, making music, performing, he's passionate about it. the riches and fame are secondary to doing what he loves.
they're halfway through their rehearsal now, splitting up to take a break and rehydrate, and it's as he's guzzling down some water from a bottle that yingxing spots dan heng, dan feng's quiet, elusive little brother.
they've met before, but only briefly, only in passing. while dan heng is supportive of his brother and the band, he's a bit of a recluse, and he's never really gone out of his way to interact with any of them beyond dan feng - so what's he doing here right now? yingxing can't resist the urge to pester him, not when he knows he might not get the chance to again for some time now.
so, wiping sweat from his brow, yingxing wanders toward the table where dan heng has set up shop, surrounded by books and papers, lit by the glow of his laptop and tablet. ]
Long time no see.
[ entirely uninvited, yingxing pulls up a seat across from dan heng, straddling it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the steel chair. his hair is wild and his skin is flushed and dewy with sweat, adrenaline still pumping, his grin broad and easy. ]
Surprised you can concentrate with all this noise.
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it's fine. he's suffered dan feng's wrath before, he'll suffer it again.
Oh, now you want to go.
he says sharply, then sighs, because it's dan heng, and he can't be angry with him for very long, especially when he sounds soft like that. with one last scathing look toward yingxing, he takes dan feng's hand and stalks back through the doorway.
Let's go. ]
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The younger brother wonders, mutinously, if he intends to lock him up there, like some princess in a faerie tale or other immersia.
But he doesn't say anything, not until they're in Dan Feng's car, answering silence with silence until the door shuts behind his older brother, until the engine starts with a low hum. ]
You weren't there to see his face, gege. [ His voice is quiet, but his tone is decisive. Sure. ] He was horrified. It hadn't crossed his mind at all. And I... as much as you're hoping I'm not pregnant, I'm hoping that even more, but...
[ He frowns. How is he meant to word this? ]
That shock tells me he wasn't just being careless. It was more that.. it's like he didn't think about it because he still saw me as man, despite all the physical evidence to the contrary.
[ He looks up at his brother with a small, tentative smile. ]
And if that's true, it makes me happy.
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but he still listens. tries to understand, even if he's still furious. ]
Dan Heng..
[ another sigh, and dan feng frowns through the windshield as he stops at an intersection. ]
I know you're technically an adult, but you're still so young. How can you know what happiness with another person is, yet? You've never even dated before. You haven't even dated him.
[ his brow furrows, and now that his anger has fizzled away a bit, all that's left is stark concern. dan heng is smart, he's so smart, but he's also very, very naive in many ways, and that can be dangerous. in the end, he'll have to make his own mistakes to learn, but accidentally getting pregnant when he's barely old enough to drink is a big way to learn. ]
Whether or not he was careless, in the end, is irrelevant. He took you to bed, someone over ten years younger than him who couldn't properly consent - that alone was a poor choice, let alone not even thinking to use protection, regardless of your gender. What if you caught something from him? He's a rock star, didi.
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...Are you saying I don't actually know that what I'm feeling is happiness? I was talking about one small thing, gege, I wasn't doing that stupid lovelorn thing you seem to think I'm doing. I don't know what happiness is with another person, but I won't ever know that if I don't give myself a chance. Right?
[ It's logical, he thinks... but so too is what Dan Feng says next, poiting out the mistakes Yingxing made—the mistakes they both made. ]
What does it matter if it was a poor choice? It was a mistake. It wasn't something he did on purpose. We know we started things backward and...
[ Ugh. He feels like he's on the back foot here. Defense, defense, defense. Is there any way that his older brother can possibly understand just how much he likes Yingxing? ]
We talked about it, actually. We... we'd both like to try going on dates.
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[ he's known about dan heng's little crush on his favorite rock star for awhile, which is why dan feng had eyed yingxing the moment he started making moves on his little brother. it's a delicate power dynamic, one between a celebrity and a fan, and he doesn't want to see dan heng hurt because of it.
of course, he loves and trusts yingxing, but.. much of that trust has been damaged, now.
dan feng sighs, closing his eyes for a brief moment until the light changes, and he begins to glide forward again. ]
Didi.. I had one ask. And that ask was to stay away from rock stars. Even my own friends.
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That's... that's different. March bought that for me, it wasn't...
[ He sighs, and leans forward in his seat, closing his eyes. ]
I know. But I can't... this isn't really... I can't control who I like, gege. I wasn't looking for this to happen. But I... but he just...
[ Another sigh, as Dan Heng shakes his head. ]
I'm sorry, gege.
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they slide into the driveway, and dan feng puts the car in park. ]
.. I suppose if you are going to be dating a rock star, one that I know is better than one that I do not.
[ he says, softly, then reaches to place a hand over one of dan heng's. ]
I know I can't stop you. Especially not now. Just.. please. Be careful.
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I...
[ He's not sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't for Dan Feng to soften as quickly as he has. He turns his hand, wraps his fingers around his brother's. ]
I will be, I promise. I just...
[ Another sigh as he shakes his head. ]
Thank you for... for trying to understand, gege. I know it's not what you want for me, but...
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[ he huffs, then gives dan heng's hand a squeeze and kills the ignition, unclipping his seatbelt so they can unload themselves from the car. ]
Come inside, then, I'll make you something to eat.
[ if he can't keep dan heng from throwing himself at a rock star, he can at least fuss over him in other ways. ]
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Kind and understanding. Right. After he physically went to Yingxing's place to hunt him down..
He says nothing of the sort. Instead, he nods as he follows his older brother inside and sits at the table. Despite sleeping well last night, he's still tired, body aching and exhausted from the paces he and Yingxing put it through over the last week.
While his brother works on food for him, he reaches for his phone and types out a quick message: ]
It's okay. He's not really that mad anymore.
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thankfully is isn't a long wait. ]
really? surprising lol. are you okay?
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He was terrified, too, and he knows Dan Feng would never hurt him. ]
Yeah, I'm okay. I was just honest with him. That this wasn't just a week of randomly fucking, that I want to go on dates with you. He doesn't like the thought of me going out with a rock star but he admitted it's better if it's someone he knows.
He was definitely begrudging about it. You might not be fully off the hook just yet. But... I think he's going to stop fighting me on it.
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thats good. he'll.. understand, eventually, once he really begins to believe that i'm not going to jerk you around.
he just knows how this lifestyle can be.
[ and they made some choices. yingxing would probably feel the same if he were in dan feng's shoes. ]
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[ He'll be embarrassed later by the silly little smile on his face, the idea that Dan Feng can see it if he so much as glances in his direction. ]
I know he's just trying to protect me. I don't blame him for that. It's always just been the two of us, so he wants to make sure I'm safe. And like you said, he knows how it is to be in your situation.
But he's willing to hear me out at least so. That's good. So...
[ Gah. Now he's feeling shy again. ]
I guess when you're free, I'd like to take you up on that date thing.
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lucky for you we don't go on tour until next year, so aside from rehearsals, im not too busy.
[ a few events to attend - he's still quite busy by any normal standard - but not like he normally is. ]
let me take you out this friday. where do you wanna go?
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[ It's easier to tease back when he doesn't have to meet Yingxing's eyes while he does it.
But... this Friday? That's... well. He's definitely smiling at his phone. ]
I'm not particularly fussy. But it should be somewhere that you can exist without being approached by a bunch of people.
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[ there's a brief moment as yingxing goes over their options, and considers dan heng's taste. ]
how about the aquarium? i can get us in after hours.
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You can?
If that's the case, and it's not going to put anyone out, then I'd really like that.
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[ but he doesn't think dan heng cares about that, or the gift shop, so much as just seeing the animals. ]
there are people there 24/7 to take care of the animals, so there will be someone there to let us out whenever we're finished.
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In that case, let me handle the food? Seeing as you cooked for me last time.
Maybe we can have a picnic dinner in the space in front of the main tank.
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sounds good. ill pick you up at 9?
oh, and you can stay over if you want, too. bring something to sleep in if that's what you want. no pressure.
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I'd like that. Let's hope ge doesn't explode when I tell him that's the plan.
[ And so he looks up again, at where his brother is preparing food. ]
...About that date I mentioned...