slicings | band au;

band au;

[ yingxing exhales hard.

his ears still ring with the music, his blood thrumming with excitement. for all the years that highcloud has been together now, he never really tires of this work. he loves what he does, loves his bandmates no matter how often they butt heads, loves everything about their music. it's hard work, exhausting even at the best of times, and there are certainly many downsides to fame and celebrity status, but this.. playing together, making music, performing, he's passionate about it. the riches and fame are secondary to doing what he loves.

they're halfway through their rehearsal now, splitting up to take a break and rehydrate, and it's as he's guzzling down some water from a bottle that yingxing spots dan heng, dan feng's quiet, elusive little brother.

they've met before, but only briefly, only in passing. while dan heng is supportive of his brother and the band, he's a bit of a recluse, and he's never really gone out of his way to interact with any of them beyond dan feng - so what's he doing here right now? yingxing can't resist the urge to pester him, not when he knows he might not get the chance to again for some time now.

so, wiping sweat from his brow, yingxing wanders toward the table where dan heng has set up shop, surrounded by books and papers, lit by the glow of his laptop and tablet. ]

Long time no see.

[ entirely uninvited, yingxing pulls up a seat across from dan heng, straddling it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the steel chair. his hair is wild and his skin is flushed and dewy with sweat, adrenaline still pumping, his grin broad and easy. ]

Surprised you can concentrate with all this noise.

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[ .. ah. he'd wondered if dan heng might ask. even when wearing more revealing tops, yingxing usually keeps his forearms covered in photoshoots and meet and greets, so the fact that dan heng only noticed them in person like this isn't surprising. it's not exactly a secret, but talking about his past is kind of a conversation killer with most people, so he doesn't tend to bring it up.

but dan heng looks so earnest, and they're close enough now that he might as well be honest with him. they were good friends even before all of this, and yingxing trusts him. he sighs through his nose. ]

Some were from my dad.

[ he taps a messy, small, circular scar on his forearm by the wrist - there are several others, scattered up the length of his forearm. but then, turning his arm over reveals the track marks around the seam of his elbow, the ones dan heng had been touching. ]

But these, uh.. I did these to myself. [ he frowns, his brow pinched. it was a decade ago, but he's still not proud of who he was back then. ] Heroin.

[ For a moment, he thinks to stop, to tell the other man he doesn't have to share if he doesn't want. But Yingxing continues before Dan Heng can stop him, pointing out marks first that are distinct from the others, likely at a glance left by cigarettes. His brows furrow—it's no secret to anyone that Blade doesn't talk about his family, but this...

Before he can say anything, though, the other continues to talk, frowning as he explains the truth of the scar. Dan Heng feels his heart break for him. Just as human as anyone else, he's made mistakes—and how could he not, when he's lived so much pain?—and yet there's something on the other man's face that almost reads like... is it guilt? Shame? He can't tell, but...

He looks at him in silence for a moment before he leans forward, a soft brush of his lips against the scars. He says nothing—there's nothing to say, not from someone who can't even begin to comprehend the whole of what he's been through. But at the very least, he can offer acceptance and comfort. ]

[ ah.. dan heng truly is so sweet. so gentle. his soft kiss to yingxing's scars earns him an easy smile. ]

.. it's okay. It was a long time ago.

[ yingxing's start in life had surely been rocky, but he'd like to think that he's finally gotten his shit together - which isn't exactly easy, when he's living as a rock star. temptation is everywhere.

nudging his nose to dan heng's cheek, he presses a kiss there. ]

I'm all right.

[ Dan Heng shakes his head for a brief moment before he sighs and leans his head into the soft kiss pressed against his skin. ]

Just because it was a long time ago didn't mean it wasn't terrible. [ No doubt the other will hear the genuine sincerity in his tone as he looks up at him with a thoughtful, quiet expression. ]

I don't really know what else to say, but I want... I want to make sure you know I'm not judging you. I'm just sorry for the things you went through that drove you that far. And... and I'm proud of you for fighting back and coming as far as you have.

[ dan heng has a point. yingxing's soul may have healed, but scars remain where open wounds once were, and at times they do ache. even still, the last thing he needs is to be a burden on dan heng. he's young, with a bright future ahead of him, he doesn't need to be dragged down by yingxing's old drama and issues. ]

Heh. I don't know what to say.

[ no one's ever really.. said this sort of thing to him, outside of his bandmates, he hardly knows how to react. it's strange, being so open, so raw about something, even if in many ways he's still hiding behind an easy smile. ]

I'll remember that, whenever I need to hear it. Thanks.

[ Dan Heng smiles back, his expression gentle and quiet, patience written all over him as he just watches and waits... the things he said weren't just said, he means them, and stubborn as he is, he wants Yingxing to listen, for the truth of them to settle on his heart. ]

You don't have to say anything, [ he responds quietly, and he presses another kiss against his skin before curling into him and just breathing, letting himself relax for the first time in the better part of a week. What Yingxing came from... it doesn't matter to him.

The only thing that matters that they're here now, like this.

...And like this they stay for a little while, curled up and just enjoying one another until with a soft, reluctant sigh, Dan Heng stretches, looks up at Yingxing. ]

As much as I've enjoyed the last week... I probably need to think about heading back home. Everything's probably a complete mess.

Edited 2025-06-09 11:25 (UTC)

[ after a week of all but marathon fucking, it's nice to just.. lay around together, chatting and holding close, learning more about one another, all the little mundane things that make a person who they are.

but the time soon comes when dan heng withdraws, and yingxing knew it was coming, but it'll still be sad to see him go. for the best, really - this is still incredibly new between them, they can't rush into seeing each other every single day. they have to date like normal people, and besides, they can hang out any time they like.. well, busy schedules allowing.

so yingxing sits up, tossing a grin over his shoulder, and offering a hand. ]

It'll be quiet here by myself for awhile, heh, but I'm sure you've got a lot of backed up work to get to.

[ He finds a smile creeping onto his lips. ]

Mm... going home will be strange, too. [ If he were Stelle, he might make some silly comment about being without his personal chef. A way to separate himself from it a little, to make it easier. But while he can be awkward with his feelings at times, he still wants to be honest, and so he doesn't do that. Instead, he takes the other's hand, and squeezes it. ] I'll miss you, but.. yeah, I do. I know you do, too.

[ Those skipped practices didn't go unnoticed, after all. ]

Besides, we can..

[ A pause. Ugh. How does he say this? ]

I'd like to see you again soon, though. If that's okay.

[ squeezing his hand in return, yingxing smiles and tugs dan heng up, both of them onto their feet. ]

Mm. I'd like that, too.

[ he says, leaning in to bunt their foreheads playfully together. ]

I meant it when I said I wanted to continue this.

[ he wasn't sure if dan heng would want to as well, once his heat wore away, but.. he's glad to find that his desires haven't changed. they'll have a lot to navigate, and it'll be difficult, but.. worth it, he thinks. ]

[ He laughs, eyes closing and forehead bumping back up against the other man's in response, a soft smile on his lips. He's content like this, and he really would stay if he could...

He sighs, and tightens his grip on the other man's hands for just a moment. ]

Good. Because I meant it too. So... we'll figure it out from here.

[ Ugh. He's stalling. It's obvious he's stalling. He doesn't want to go home, even though he needs to. Study catch-up aside, he's pretty confident he left a sweaty pile of clothes on the floor... ]

[ yingxing feels it too. he likes having dan heng here, likes cooking for him and talking with him and, of course, fucking him silly, but.. he's not young anymore. he knows how bad it can be to rush a relationship, and dan heng needs time to himself to decompress and think and just be a uni student.

if things continue to progress well, they'll revisit having a place together. until then, dan heng can visit any time he needs. they'll see each other often enough, the band doesn't go on tour until next year. there's time. ]

We will. Thanks for trusting me.

[ he says, pressing a kiss to dan heng's lips, then another, slow and soft. ]

C'mon, let's get you home.

[ Dan Heng can only smile again, more than thrilled by the other's words, and he may not be the most expressive of people but it's definitely pretty clear on his lips, especially for someone who knows him as well as Yingxing does. He returns those kisses before pulling away with a nod, and as they move the air shimmers around him until he's once more short-haired and blue-eyed. ]

Yeah, [ he agrees, and he opens the door—

and perhaps the problem with his smile is that one of all of three other people who knows him well enough to completely understand is the exact person standing in front of the door as it opens to let him out, arms folding over his chest.

Dan Heng's steps grind to a halt, and his mouth opens a little too far. ]

Uh. Gege.

[ oh. yingxing is sure that his heart stops in his chest at the sight of dan feng standing just outside of his door, arms crossed, expression smooth and calm save for his bright eyes, stormy and ferocious as the sea in a hurricane.

yes. gege.

dan feng responds, his eyes narrowing as he glances from dan heng to yingxing to dan heng again, his fury only barely concealed. yingxing's mouth drops open, and he is at a complete loss for words for a moment, soon clearing his throat and running a hand back through his pale hair, his face hot. few people can put the fear of the gods into him like dan feng can. normally yingxing is one of the only people who can handle him during one of his rants, but this time dan feng's anger is pointed at him.

this time, he knows he's fucked up. ]

A-ah.. Dan Feng - [ he starts, clears his throat again. ] You're.. Dan Heng was just -

—leaving. I was just leaving.

[ He pitches in, finishes Yingxing's statement even as he trails to a dead halt, because there's no point in lying, not when it will only make things worse for them both to do so. His breath shudders as he takes it, but he keeps his eyes on his brother's face all the same, not allowing himself to back down despite how furious Dan Feng looks. ]

I suppose you can see for yourself that yes, this is the friend whose house I went to. [ Then, gentle but insistent in tone: ] I told you it was someone I trusted, right?

[ It's not much of an argument, but it's the only one he has. Dan Feng should trust Yingxing too, hasn't he always? ]

[ dan feng clearly does not expect opposition, which becomes obvious when his expression darkens.

trusted. you trusted a man over a decade your senior, who should have known better than to take advantage of you.

yingxing flinches, but doesn't argue it, only sighs through his nose. he and dan feng trust each other, yes, which is all the more reason that yingxing should have thought twice about this, about how dan feng might feel about it, about the fact that dan heng is young, was in heat - ugh. it's trust that he's damaged, now. ]

Ah-Feng, I..

[ dan feng shakes his head, steps forward to take dan heng's wrist, standing between the two of them.

don't ah-feng me. you deliberately hid this from me. how am i supposed to feel about that? come - let's go. ]

[ His eyes widen at Dan Feng's comment, and this time it's Dan Heng's eyebrows that narrow, the youngest of the three men stepping back a little with the intent of pulling his wrist free of his brother's grip. ]

No, wait.

[ If he didn't expect opposition, he certainly won't expect defiance, the determination written into his younger brother's eyes as he looks between the two of them. ]

This isn't Yingxing's fault. I know I'm young, but I'm the one who made the choice to come here. I'm the one who asked for help. And it... [ Well, they were going to have to tell him eventually... ] it wasn't only about my heat anyway, gege. I came here because I wanted to.

[ dan feng's brows lift, then furrow both in confusion, and clear hurt. no, he had not expected defiance, certainly hadn't expected dan heng to stand up for yingxing over his big brother, who clearly has his best interests at heart, the only one here who wasn't thinking with the brain between their legs.

his expression softens.

.. you're confused, Dan Heng. A first heat is always this way.

his grasp on dan heng's wrist tightens, trying to keep him close. he's angry, yes, and clearly feeling betrayed, but he loves dan heng more than anyone, and his concern is clear.

yingxing, meanwhile, keeps his gaze down. what can he say? his guilt tells him that dan feng is entirely correct, that he shouldn't have taken dan heng to bed, that he was an idiot to even think it wasn't anything but him being a horny creep. ]

Ah-Feng, we weren't planning to keep it a secret. We were going to tell you, just - just after.

[ dan feng shoots him a hard look.

I think you've done enough, haven't you? ]

[ Seeing the hurt on his brother's face softens Dan Heng a little in turn, but he still doesn't bend. He knows what he wants, and he's an adult. Technically, he doesn't even need the other to understand—but he loves him, and he wants him to get it, at least, even if he can't fully support it.

His free hand lifts, covers the hand grasping at his wrist, and this time there's less wilfulness in his gaze but something quieter, more logical. ]

Please don't—I'm not confused, ge. I've liked Yingxing for a long time. well before my first heat. And.. he's telling the truth. Actually, he was the one who insisted we had to tell you. I just wanted to get through my heat first. I—we both—understand that the situation is difficult, and that it would need a discussion, but my heat was the wrong time to do that, so...

[ He sighs. ]

I'm not expecting you to like this right away, but don't be angry with him when I was the one who came here in the first place.

Edited 2025-06-10 09:52 (UTC)

[ dan feng is far too soft for his little brother, softer than he is for anyone else in the world, which is all the more reason that this infuriates him. dan heng must be confused, no matter what he says - how could he not be? his mind was addled with hormones. he should know better than to go chasing a man substantially older than himself, and a rock star, at that. he's always told dan heng to stay away from them, after all.

Didi, whether or not you came here on your own doesn't matter. You weren't -

in a place to consent. not properly. he came to yingxing under duress, and as an older, more responsible man, yingxing should have turned him away. that dan heng has been interested in him for a long time.. dan feng sighs, and rubs his face with his free hand.

No, I don't like it, and I cannot fathom how you could think I wouldn't be angry with him, but I see you're going to be stubborn about this, and I'm too exhausted to argue any further.

he's been working hard all week, after all, between worrying himself sick over dan heng.

Just.. you used protection, yes?

yingxing freezes. ]

[ He's grateful when Dan Feng cuts himself off. Not because he wants his brother not to care, but because at the very least it means he's decided not to argue now, and maybe they can both talk about it when they're less tired, less worn out in their own ways. He has explaining to do on his own account, after all, he knows that too.

After all, Dan Feng always told him not to chase after rock stars.

It seems like it might be over enough that they can leave it for another day, when...

you used protection, yes?

...and even if he thought he could possibly brush the topic off, the way Yingxing freezes just behind him makes the answer far too evident.

Dan Heng sighs. Maybe if he frames it in a positive light... ]

I'm on the pill. And T. Between them they should be enough but just in case, we started using condoms after the first night, and I made an appointment with my physician.

[ the moment yingxing freezes, dan feng is on them like a shark scenting blood.

You..

silence follows. it is not a good silence. it is not a pleasant, comfortable silence. dan feng looks positively murderous.

After the first night.

dan feng's jaw clenches tightly, his burning gaze fixed on yingxing with laser focus, the tips of his long ears hot red. ah, and they were so close to meeting in the middle here, in a way. almost. almost. releasing dan heng's wrist, he stalks to yingxing, his voice eerily calm.

You had better pray every night that your negligence did not bear fruit.

yingxing's throat works around a deep swallow. he knows dan feng well enough to know that he shouldn't argue. not about this. the two of them bicker quite often, but this is entirely different. ]

.. Understood.

Gege—

[ Like his brother, Dan Heng has started to turn red—though in his case, it's out of embarrassment. If he sounds mortified when he speaks, it's because he is... and yet there's nothing else for him to say. He can't argue, not about this—not when he knows that with this at least they've made a mistake. But..

Fuck, this whole thing is the worst kind of mess.

He looks over at Yingxing, pained apology written onto his expression. It's an apology owed, but no doubt saying it aloud will just make things even worse. He can only hope the older man sees it, understands.

And that he's not pregnant.

And that he can find a way to talk Dan Feng around. ]

Gege, [ he says, his voice soft. And because he thinks it's the only way of getting out of here with Yingxing alive: ] Can we go?

[ dan heng looks apologetic, but yingxing just gives a minute shake of his head. dan feng isn't wrong. they fucked up, not using protection - he fucked up, and in a big way. he's got to own up to that, and take responsibility. even if their tryst overall wasn't a mistake, not using protection definitely was.

it's fine. he's suffered dan feng's wrath before, he'll suffer it again.

Oh, now you want to go.

he says sharply, then sighs, because it's dan heng, and he can't be angry with him for very long, especially when he sounds soft like that. with one last scathing look toward yingxing, he takes dan feng's hand and stalks back through the doorway.

Let's go. ]

[ Hand taken in his brother's, Dan Heng is all but dragged out of the apartment and back out toward the parking lot. His brother has a driver ready to take his car, leaving him forced to hand over the keys, cheeks burning red. It's as if Dan Feng is determined to make sure he gets home—

The younger brother wonders, mutinously, if he intends to lock him up there, like some princess in a faerie tale or other immersia.

But he doesn't say anything, not until they're in Dan Feng's car, answering silence with silence until the door shuts behind his older brother, until the engine starts with a low hum. ]

You weren't there to see his face, gege. [ His voice is quiet, but his tone is decisive. Sure. ] He was horrified. It hadn't crossed his mind at all. And I... as much as you're hoping I'm not pregnant, I'm hoping that even more, but...

[ He frowns. How is he meant to word this? ]

That shock tells me he wasn't just being careless. It was more that.. it's like he didn't think about it because he still saw me as man, despite all the physical evidence to the contrary.

[ He looks up at his brother with a small, tentative smile. ]

And if that's true, it makes me happy.

[ given dan heng's behavior in yingxing's flat, dan feng expects some measure of backtalk from him, so when dan heng begins, however gently, he sighs.

but he still listens. tries to understand, even if he's still furious. ]

Dan Heng..

[ another sigh, and dan feng frowns through the windshield as he stops at an intersection. ]

I know you're technically an adult, but you're still so young. How can you know what happiness with another person is, yet? You've never even dated before. You haven't even dated him.

[ his brow furrows, and now that his anger has fizzled away a bit, all that's left is stark concern. dan heng is smart, he's so smart, but he's also very, very naive in many ways, and that can be dangerous. in the end, he'll have to make his own mistakes to learn, but accidentally getting pregnant when he's barely old enough to drink is a big way to learn. ]

Whether or not he was careless, in the end, is irrelevant. He took you to bed, someone over ten years younger than him who couldn't properly consent - that alone was a poor choice, let alone not even thinking to use protection, regardless of your gender. What if you caught something from him? He's a rock star, didi.

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