band au;
[ yingxing exhales hard.
his ears still ring with the music, his blood thrumming with excitement. for all the years that highcloud has been together now, he never really tires of this work. he loves what he does, loves his bandmates no matter how often they butt heads, loves everything about their music. it's hard work, exhausting even at the best of times, and there are certainly many downsides to fame and celebrity status, but this.. playing together, making music, performing, he's passionate about it. the riches and fame are secondary to doing what he loves.
they're halfway through their rehearsal now, splitting up to take a break and rehydrate, and it's as he's guzzling down some water from a bottle that yingxing spots dan heng, dan feng's quiet, elusive little brother.
they've met before, but only briefly, only in passing. while dan heng is supportive of his brother and the band, he's a bit of a recluse, and he's never really gone out of his way to interact with any of them beyond dan feng - so what's he doing here right now? yingxing can't resist the urge to pester him, not when he knows he might not get the chance to again for some time now.
so, wiping sweat from his brow, yingxing wanders toward the table where dan heng has set up shop, surrounded by books and papers, lit by the glow of his laptop and tablet. ]
Long time no see.
[ entirely uninvited, yingxing pulls up a seat across from dan heng, straddling it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the steel chair. his hair is wild and his skin is flushed and dewy with sweat, adrenaline still pumping, his grin broad and easy. ]
Surprised you can concentrate with all this noise.
his ears still ring with the music, his blood thrumming with excitement. for all the years that highcloud has been together now, he never really tires of this work. he loves what he does, loves his bandmates no matter how often they butt heads, loves everything about their music. it's hard work, exhausting even at the best of times, and there are certainly many downsides to fame and celebrity status, but this.. playing together, making music, performing, he's passionate about it. the riches and fame are secondary to doing what he loves.
they're halfway through their rehearsal now, splitting up to take a break and rehydrate, and it's as he's guzzling down some water from a bottle that yingxing spots dan heng, dan feng's quiet, elusive little brother.
they've met before, but only briefly, only in passing. while dan heng is supportive of his brother and the band, he's a bit of a recluse, and he's never really gone out of his way to interact with any of them beyond dan feng - so what's he doing here right now? yingxing can't resist the urge to pester him, not when he knows he might not get the chance to again for some time now.
so, wiping sweat from his brow, yingxing wanders toward the table where dan heng has set up shop, surrounded by books and papers, lit by the glow of his laptop and tablet. ]
Long time no see.
[ entirely uninvited, yingxing pulls up a seat across from dan heng, straddling it backwards, leaning his forearms on the back of the steel chair. his hair is wild and his skin is flushed and dewy with sweat, adrenaline still pumping, his grin broad and easy. ]
Surprised you can concentrate with all this noise.
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Under any other circumstance, he'd wait for the water before stripping down, he really would. But his clothes are uncomfortable, damp through with sweat and more, and the raw scent of the other man in this room especially is too much for him; he strips down and leaves his garments on the floor before he steps into the bath, hissing in relief at the cool water on his skin.
One small bit of relief. There could be more, too. It would be so easy to just—
His head tilts back against the tiles, eyes half-lidded, his grip on his cloudhymn magic gone, breath low and panting, fingers of both hands in a white-knuckled grip on the sides of the bath. Not here. Not here, no matter how blessedly good everything smells— ]
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he's not surprised to find that dan heng has stripped down already - he'd sweat clean through his clothing, and with as how hot he was all over, yingxing can hardly blame him for wanting to get into the water immediately. so he steps over dan heng's clothing on the floor, then makes absolutely, completely sure to keep his eyes on dan heng's face as he leans in to set the glass and pitcher down on a shelf by the tub. his cloudhymn disguise has dissipated fully by now, leaving dan heng looking..
.. well, so much like his brother, for one, but still very different. his face is softer, rounder where dan feng's is sharp, his eyes gentler, his horns less angular. there are similarities, sure, but for someone who knows them both very well, the difference between them is obvious. but damn, he's even more beautiful like this than he is normally, and that's saying something -
ahem. yingxing kneels, resting one arm against the lip of the tub. ]
Hey, try to relax. You're going to break your fingers. You have to get through this thing one way or another, and fighting it the whole way is just going to exhaust you.
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His eyes flutter open, and it takes them a moment to catch properly onto Yingxing's face, something in the other's expression—or is it the strong musk in his nose?—that has him shift, rub his legs against each other as if somehow that will offer some sort of relief.
(It doesn't.)
To the statement, the best he can do right now is shake his head, lifting one trembling hand for the water. He gulps down half the glass in one go before putting it back on the shelf, clouded eyes seeking out the older man's. ]
—Have to—
[ He cuts himself off with a soft groan. Now he can't even get a full sentence out? A swipe of his tongue over his lips, and he tries again: ]
I have to fight it, though. It wants something from me, and I can't—
I can't.
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You can't?
[ his concern only seems to deepen, but yingxing doesn't press. at least not yet. maybe dan heng will feel better once he's soaked in the cool water for awhile, allowing it to leech the terrible heat from his body. their eyes meet, and yingxing's expression is soft with sympathy; poor dan heng, it's clear that this is weighing heavily upon him. ]
All right, just.. if there's anything you need, however small, call on me, okay?
[ he's trying incredibly hard to ignore the inherent eroticism of the moment, the way dan heng's body shifts, the way he licks his lips. ]
Take as long as you like, in here. Fill it up as many times as you want. [ he says, unfolding himself from the floor and getting to his feet. ] If you need a refill on that pitcher, just yell for me.
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And Yingxing is nice enough that if Dan Heng asked—
But it wouldn't be real, and so he can't. Not to mention the fact that his body isn't what the other would expect it to be, and...
Right. He can't.
That's the decision he's made, and he's sticking to it no matter how rich the intermingling of spice and musk is as it tickles his nose.
He nods, the movement stiff. Maybe, if the other closes the door on his way out, he can get himself some relief, just some
(and he shouldn't, this isn't his house, isn't his tub, but reason is starting to fail quickly as sympathetic, gentle eyes meet his, and Dan Heng wonders what they'd look like burning with the same heat that aches between his legs—)
He all but chokes on his answer as he nods. ]
I. Right. Yes, thank you.
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[ he reaches to gently muss dan heng's hair with his palm one more time - a silent reminder that he's here, and not going anywhere - before he finally withdraws and, unfortunately for dan heng, surely closes the door behind him. look, he's pretty much expecting that he'll jerk off in there, and he doesn't mind, though he knows he couldn't say as much without dan heng hitting the roof. but really, he's suffering. anything that might bring relief is good.
with a sigh, he scrubs his face with both hands. if anything happens these coming nights, dan feng is absolutely going to skin him alive, but.. respectfully, this isn't about him. this is about what dan heng needs, regardless of yingxing's feelings toward the young man, and how absolutely, ridiculously willing he'd be to help him through this however he needs.
for now, yingxing sets about working, making sure the bed is straightened, and extra towels are left at the foot in case dan heng needs them, as well as an extra thermos of ice cold water at the bedside. he'll need more than just water, but for now, this is good enough. once he's sure that anything dan heng might need is within reach, yingxing finally heads back downstairs to the work he'd left behind, though he now finds it exceedingly difficult to concentrate. ]
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Dan Heng hates the way his head tilts toward the palm, hates more the soft sound that escapes his lips as it leaves him. Embarrassing. Although what's even moreso is the way the guitarist closes the door behind him, as if he's read the younger man's thoughts.
Moreso, but not enough to stop his hand from slipping down over his body within minutes of the other being gone, the motion almost automatic. He doesn't touch himself often, has never really found the need, but now he's driven by something entirely different, by instinct that has him biting back a groan at the first brush of his fingertips over his slit.
Too loud—
Fingers part his lips while another ghosts over him, exploring—he doesn't let himself linger for long though before he starts to fuck himself open, two fingers working fast and deep. It's easy for his brain to pretend that they're not even his own digits, that they're attached instead to an easy smile and lavender eyes, a thought that has him biting into his wrist in an effort to shut himself up; when the first orgasm of his heat takes him, it's his lip he bites instead to hold back a too-familiar name, even as his voice slips and echoes off the tiles. ]
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.. which means that that sharp, guttural moan floats down the stairs and right to his ears. it's muffled, of course, and made unclear by distance, but still incredibly obvious. yingxing's face grows hot, a tightening in his gut as he takes a deep breath, and tries to focus on his work. he's going to have to get used to this, if dan heng is going to be staying here while he rides out his heat.
too bad no one passed on that memo to his dick.
rubbing at his face again, yingxing exhales hard and stands again, heading to the kitchen to fetch his own ice cold water now. he's going to need it. ]
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—it's once he emerges, wrapped in a towel, that Yingxing's scent hits him all over again, strong as the bricks that make up the wall, and with it the realization of what was wrong with the bathroom in the end, as his own desperate, heat-laced scent drenched the room in sex and need. ]
I'm out.
[ His voice wobbles. He makes his way to the bed and curls up—first on top of it, and then more in it, grabbing the sheets and blankets and pulling them around him. His face presses into the blanket, inhaling the other's scent. ]
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but soon enough the door opens, and dan heng calls out in a ragged voice. yingxing exhales hard. at the very least, he's prepped some food while dan heng was in the bath, and now there's a tub of curry in the fridge, and a second tub of congee with vegetables. easy to reheat.
he takes the stairs back up to find dan heng nestled into his bed, looking sweet and soft; yingxing clears his throat. ]
I made some congee and curry, should be good to reheat whenever you like. Let me know if you want any.
[ he's got to keep up his strength. seating himself on the edge of the bed, yingxing reaches to rub dan heng's hair again. ]
Feeling any better?
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Dan Heng's eyes blink back open, and he lifts his head just a little, torn between scent and affection.
Congee... and curry. The thought of food has his stomach turn over in a strange mix of hunger and revulsion. He needs to eat, hasn't eaten all day, but also he—is he even hungry for anything else that isn't more of this? He's not sure.
But he should eat.
To Yingxing's question, he nods slowly. Thankfully, the other is calm enough about the whole thing that he doesn't fully realize he's been heard (though logic, once it sets back in after his heat is over, will make that realization for him); it makes it easier to lean into him, to allow himself to be cared for. ]
I... a little, yes. The cool bath helped abate some of the fever for now.
[ The orgasms did more, but he doesn't mention that. ]
I could eat.
[ A pause, and then, his voice thick with awkwardness: ]
...Thank you, Yingxing.
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yingxing smiles, rubbing the pad of his thumb over dan heng's cheek, tracing beneath his eye. he looks so lovely like this, and it would be all too easy to lean in, to take what they both want right now, but - no. he's no fool, he knows that dan heng is into him, that he has been into him since before their friendship began, but taking him like this.. it doesn't feel right. not unless dan heng says he wants it. ]
You're very welcome. I'll go grab a bowl for you, you just sit tight.
[ he says with a smile, then draws back again to head downstairs once more, heading into the kitchen to scoop a bowl of congee and veggies for dan heng, before heating it up for him a little. then, he carries it back up again on a small bamboo tray. ]
Still awake?
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Dan Heng wraps himself tight in the covers and blinks, in genuine mortification, against tears that suddenly want to spring to his eyes. He doesn't cry, he never cries, but with his body so out of his control...
Luckily, he has himself under control again before Yingxing climbs the stairs once more. He's able to sit up, wrapped tightly enough in the towel to conceal everything, nodding his answer to that question as he accepts the tray with a small smile. And in the end, despite the twisted feeling in his guts, he's able to eat most of it, the warmth of the congee soothing as it settles in him, the vegetables cooked perfectly to mix in with it. ]
Thank you, [ he says again, as he hands the tray back, tiredness crashing over him like a wave—and before long at all he finds himself asleep, curled up in the covers and breathing in Yingxing's scent.
A few hours pass like that, peaceful and calm. But Dan Heng's heat is far from abated. It's around 2am when he wakes up, slick with sweat and arousal, panting into the rich scent of the cover into which his face is buried. Somehow, it's not enough, and it's almost in a trance that he spends the next several minutes up and moving around Yingxing's room, stealing clothes and piling them on the bed, making the other man's scent richer before snuggling into it again.
It helps a little. The next hour or so is fitful, Dan Heng drifting in and out of sleep, comforted by the scent of the other but still needing something else. He drinks from the water left at the bed, but it doesn't help—his body craves one thing, and one thing only, and...
Arbiter help him, this is so embarrassing when Yingxing is surely asleep on the couch downstairs, but... there's nothing for it, and there's almost no self control in the way he slips a hand under the towel, fingers pushing into his sopping, aching cunt as he moans into his other hand. ]
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so he flicks the television on to some random romcom and drifts off to sleep on the couch, his mind full of dan heng, worrying about him. but he's safe here, at least, and yingxing is a light enough sleeper that he'll wake should dan heng try to leave in a fit of fevered heat.
light enough that dan heng's voice, barely carrying from up the stairs to the loft, is enough to rouse him.
awake immediately, yingxing kicks his blankets down and climbs to his feet, hurrying up the stairs to make sure that dan heng is all right. it should probably occur to him that the noise that dan heng made was one of pleasure not of pain or distress, but given that he's half awake..
well, he rushes quickly to the bedside, hardly thinking. ]
Dan Heng - is everything all right? What do you need?
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Surely.
Surely not, if the sudden flurry of feet on the stairs has anything to say about it. Dan Heng gasps, tears his fingers free of himself (biting hard on his lower lip to prevent a whine from slipping out), wipes them on the towel as well as he can—
Just in time for that rich scent to fill his nose all over again.
He looks up at Yingxing with wide eyes, shakes his head slowly. ]
I... no, I'm alright...
[ Or so he says. He doesn't think about, can't see the way his legs are sliding against one another, almost grinding against himself, trying to get some relief even as he's buried in a pile of the other's things much bigger than that with which he started—shirts, pants, even an undergarment or two, thieved in a state out of his mind. ]
S-sorry if I woke you.
[ It would be so easy—all he'd have to do is reach out—and he could have him, couldn't he? ]
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right. yingxing rubs a palm into his eyes, feeling like a complete moron. now he's just invaded dan heng's privacy and likely mortified the young man and himself in the process. but it is what it is, there's no taking it back, so instead yingxing sighs and looks to dan heng's flushed face, his brow pinched. ]
You don't have to be sorry, but -
[ a deep breath, and yingxing slips a knuckle beneath dan heng's chin to tilt his head upward, looking into his eyes. ]
Your brother's going to kill me, but I - Dan Heng.. do you want help?
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Do you want help?
Dan Heng's eyes widen, and he stumbles for a moment over words that feel impossible to say, mouth forming shapes in silence for a few too-long seconds before he finally finds the right ones—
And even then, they're wrong. ]
Yes, I—I want help.. [ And his eyes close in embarrassed shame that he even needs to ask for it, but also.. ] But you don't... you don't have to make that offer just for my sake, Yingxing. That's—it's unfair to you.
[ Another pause, legs grating together as his mind works to talk himself out of what he knows his heart and body both so desperately want: ]
Besides, I... I'm not what you'd expect. So... It's okay, I'm okay...
[ But he leans into that touch, cants his head into him, breathes him in as much as he can as his own breath exhales on a shaky sigh. ]
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Unfair to me? I'm the one offering. I think that's my call, not yours.
[ if anything, he's the one being unfair to dan heng - it feels like taking advantage of him while he's vulnerable, but if he's honest, he'd much rather have dan heng's consent now rather than when he's deeper in his heat, and unable to really give it. it's important.
exhaling hard, yingxing pulls back, but only so he can press a knee into the bed and lean over dan heng, his pale hair spilling over his shoulder. as for all the rest.. ]
And - not what I'd expect? I'm not sure what you mean, but whatever it is that you're worried about I can tell you it doesn't matter. I just want to offer now instead of later.
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He wants this so much, and in his heat he needs it, but there's that small part of him wondering
that small part of him that he thinks loves
not to mention the part of him that thinks there's no way the other can be attracted to his body, and—
He sucks in a breath. The heat is making him emotional. That's all this is. It doesn't need to be like this. Logic should be enough, right? ]
Okay. [ His voice is a whisper, as thick as his breath. ] I.. accept your help.
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still, he's known dan heng long enough now to know that whatever it is he's worried about won't mean a thing, and won't get in the way of what they have. maybe it's just as simple as his vidyadhara anatomy, but that's hardly of any concern to yingxing.
nevertheless, the only way is through, so yingxing takes the initiative, dipping through the space between them to press their mouths together in a hot kiss. if he's honest, this is something that's been a long time in coming. dan heng's crush had been obvious from the beginning, and at first yingxing had enjoyed simply teasing him, enjoyed the attention from a cute young guy, but now.. now they're friends, and things have changed. his relationship with dan heng has changed. yet even still, this feels like a natural extension of what they've already built.
aeons save him from dan feng's wrath.. ]
Good. [ he murmurs against dan heng's soft lips, already intoxicated by the taste of him. ] If you need to stop, tell me immediately.
[ because his hands are already beginning to slip between the sheets and blankets and - is that one of his shirts? - to seek out dan heng's skin and push the fabric aside. ]
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Those worries will come back later, but for now—for now he's just going to let himself enjoy, going to let his body feast on this connection as much as it needs to do so.
His blink is slow, the shake of his head slower. ]
I won't need to stop, [ he breathes—though in the very next moment he feels the other's hand slipping between fabrics in search of his body, and he finds his eyes squeezing shut again, the barest thread of worry trying to worm its way between the pleasure and the need and everything else going on in the moment.
He closes his eyes and leans up, seeking another kiss. A distraction. ]
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soon enough yingxing's hands are on him, finding dan heng's skin beneath everything he's piled around himself, feeling the scorching heat of his body. his fingertips are rough from guitar-work, his palms callused from the smithing he's done - these hands hardly feel worthy of dan heng's impossibly soft skin, but he's greedy, he wants it anyway, can't resist it, especially when dan heng kisses him like he needs him to breathe.
at last, he's pushed the fabric away, and yingxing rears back and rests his weight on his knees, snagging his sleeping shirt by the hem to tug it over his head, tossing it carelessly aside. beneath it he's well build, all sleek, hard muscle strengthened by the metalwork he used to do, kept strong over time by weight lifting and working out at home. he's not as young as he once was, but yingxing is proud of how well he's maintained himself.
it's only once he's tossed his shirt aside that he looks down, and sees - dan heng, beautiful and sprawled and needy below him, distinctly minus a cock, and plus a set of soft, flushed tits.
oh. okay. right. so this is what he meant. yingxing's brow knits, but less in judgment and more in simple bewilderment - it takes him only a handful of seconds to understand what's going on here. he must be trans, but he's certainly never said anything about it to yingxing, and neither has dan feng; he passes extremely well, yingxing wouldn't have clocked him in a hundred years.
after a brief moment, his concern melts away into an easy smile, and yingxing leans over him again, chasing his mouth for another kiss. ]
You're gorgeous.
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He's half thinking about reaching up and touching him when Yingxing looks down at him instead—
anxiety rushes and gives way to panic, and yet the frown on the older man's face isn't one of judgment or anything else unkind. There's surprise, and then a handsome, warm smile, an assurance made into his mouth that he's gorgeous...
Gorgeous. The word sends a shudder of delight through him, his mouth nipping shyly at Yingxing's as it chases him, and all the worry he had chased away by relief and desire and... just so much. ]
You... You're really telling me that? [ He finally lifts his hands, lets them trail over the other's muscles, exploring the skin as he shakes his head. ] Do you know how many... how many people there are that would kill to be in my place right now? You're a sex symbol.
[ The words fall off his tongue unbidden, things he thinks he'd probably never say if he weren't half-mad with lust, but all things that are true just the same.
And, speaking of truths... ]
I've wanted you for a long time.
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[ at that, yingxing barks an easy laugh. well, he supposes that dan heng isn't necessarily wrong - he's a celebrity, one whose body has all but been on display before. yingxing isn't unaware of the sheer amount of people that lust after him. but they'd lust after dan heng, too, if they knew him, if they saw how beautiful he was, flushed pink and thighs wet with need.
speaking of his thighs - yingxing slips a knee between them, pushing upward, feeling the heat and moisture of dan heng's cunt sinking right through his thin cotton pants. ]
There's no rule that says you can't be beautiful just because a lot of people think I'm hot. [ he says pointedly, then smiles, dragging his mouth along dan heng's jaw just as he makes his confession. ] And I know you have. Here's a secret - I've wanted you, too.
[ hot kisses sweep down dan heng's throat, tasting the salt of his sweat, teeth pressing to his racing pulse, but he continues downward, over the ridge of his collarbone and down the center of his chest. ]
So just lay back, baby, let me take care of you.
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And to the rest of it, he tips his head back, fingers tangling in long white hair, breath tripping off his mouth in small gasps as Yingxing's mouth drags over his jaw, his throat, tasting the salt off his skin in a way that has the young Vidyadhara squirming under him, his cunt answering with another gush of slick that the guitarist will no doubt feel.
Yingxing has wanted him too? Aeons...
Dan Heng swallows hard, nods as he settles back into the torn cocoon of all the other's things, bathing in his scent even as he watches him with blown eyes and trembling breath. ]
Okay, [ he whispers. ] Please.
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